Why Surrender My Agenda?
Not only a great name for a blog but also my life’s ambition. Having been a Christian for a long time I know that God has a plan for me. The bible tells me so in Jeremiah 29:11. But my life drastically changed when I learned to TRUST that this was true.
I was a typical rebellious teen. Having grown up in a Christian home I had seen my parents grapple with their faith and get lots of things right and also a lot wrong. They were both hurt and broken people as a result of their own upbringings (the truth is there are parts of all of us that are hurt and broken) and I grew up watching them try to cope with their own brokenness. My mum’s way of coping was control. My dad’s was fearful withdrawal, with outbursts of anger when confrontation came. Each of these were major themes during my childhood and it meant I transferred these themes into my (tenuous-at-best) relationship with God. I thought God was an angry, controlling kill-joy that made rules to stop me having fun (I was an immature teen after all!).
I realised I had gotten God completely wrong the day that I heard Him speak to me. Yes, some of you reading this will think I’m nuts. So be it.
I know I heard God clearly speak to me in the midst of a period of teenage rebellion. I had gotten way too deep into an unhealthy relationship that I couldn’t give up. It threatened to have serious implications on my future if I continued to tie myself to said person.
Instead of condemning me or judging me, like so many others did at the time, Jesus spoke to me with such kindness and compassion, He won my heart. I knew He was real, loving and concerned for me. To cut a long story short, I will go into more details in different posts in the future, He began to heal past hurt in me. Through the fantastic church I belonged to as a student (Kings Church Norwich – Newfrontiers) I began to understand all that God could achieve through a community that love each other and the city that they’re in.
It was during this time that God spoke to me about being involved in church planting and I took the faith decision to move to Hull, get married and become part of the team to plant Jubilee Church.
Through all this I have learned to trust that He knows me better than I know myself. That He knows what will make me happy. And so now before I make major decisions in my life I ask Him first. What does He think? What is in His plan? What is His best for me?
So how about you? What seemingly ‘crazy’ things have you done in faith? How have you chosen to follow what God was saying rather than choosing for yourself what you thought was best? I’d love to hear from you!